With a change to the name of our Monday blogs from ‘Monday Motivation’ to ‘Monday Madness’ I will be trying to share with you some of the tougher sides to parenting and trying to find a positive side to them. Not many people like Mondays as it is and this is why I have chosen Monday to discuss things that can make parenting tough.
The world today is full of opinions and competition. Become a parent and this becomes so much harder to comprehend and accept. The minute you find out you are expecting a baby the world is full of opinions, advice and judgement. There are a lot of great advice out there and a lot of people who genuinely mean well and are trying to help, but along with the good comes the less useful. It is then a matter of figuring out what works for you and your family and putting the rest in storage in case it becomes useful later down the track.
While I was pregnant I found out and learnt a lot of things that no one had ever spoken about (perhaps just because I wasn’t talking to people who were pregnant/ or parents about these things as in all honesty, as a non-parent I wouldn’t have understood). I felt as though a lot of things you experience during pregnancy, childbirth and after birth, are not spoken about or even are ‘secret’. For this reason after having my daughter I decided to start this blog to share any things I felt unaware of as a non-parent or expecting parent to try and help even one other person.
Becoming a parenting blogger puts myself out there for more opinions, advice and judgement to be thrown my way. It is unfortunate that we live in a world with so much judgement. Becoming a parenting blogger by no means makes me feel or think that I am an expert, instead the goal is to support other parents in need and to have a platform where by other parents can help one another. The blog is there to share any tips, tricks and help that I have come across along the way, that may also help others. It is a place for others to gather information, like some of the answers I was looking for during my pregnancy, early days as a new mum and even one year on I am still looking for information and help.
Being a parenting blogger and putting myself out there brings positive and negative feelings.
- I get to share my experiences in the hope it may help someone else in the same boat or someone who needs help.
- I get to connect with other parents.
- I see others enjoying activities I have shared.
- I get to share guest birth stories to help expecting parents.
- I provide a platform for parents to share their tips and tricks.
- Judgement by other parents.
- Being perceived as an ‘expert’ when I am far from it.
Being a parent is hard work. It is a 24/7 job with no guidelines, no manual, no help, in a judgmental, competitive world. We all want the best for our children, we all love and adore our children, and think they are they greatest thing ever- let’s be honest they are the greatest thing ever for each and every one of us.
Every parent has their highs and lows. Some days are great, others days are terrible, and some are in-between. One child, two children, three children, more, twins, triplets etc. No matter the amount of children you have we all have our struggles.
Deflated and Emotionally Tired
Motherhood along with the joy and utter happiness, comes emotional stress and tiredness. This isn’t necessarily even related to looking after your child, but yet more to do with other parents, the judgement, the overwhelming feeling from opinions and negativity, etc. I try to be a generous, supportive, caring person, whose family and friends mean the world to me. I would do just about anything for them. With these traits, I hope to share them through my blog.
With the opinions, advice, and mostly judgement I sometimes feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained and deflated. My biggest struggles since becoming a mother have been:
- Loss of identity (my old self: Clare- Massage Therapist, Coach, Athlete, etc )
- Feeling lonely – lack of company due to full-time stay at home mum and not being surrounded by adults, work mates, and/or friends.
- Feeling lost – unsure of what to do next and where to go from here.
- Learning to handle opinions and judgement.
- Not taking everything to heart.
- Learning how to master my ‘new life’ as Mum.
- Putting myself out there to meet new parents and children to interact with.
- Feeling of competitiveness between parents- From what your baby is doing when, to who has the best things for baby.
As a mother I reach out to other parents for support and comfort, and as a ‘parenting blogger’ I hope to be there, or provide the platform for like minded or similar situation parents to be there for one another. Wouldn’t it feel better to ‘hold each others hands’ and support each other than categorize and single out one another.
Things I am grateful for as a parent and things that help me feel better again:
- Supportive partner – Knowing I have a partner who has my back and tells me I am doing a great job as a mum.
- A cheeky daughter who makes me laugh so hard I cry.
- Supportive parents who love me, and love my daughter.
- Some great friends who help keep me smiling, laughing and having a great time.
- Playgroup mothers- meeting new mums and children at playgroup for Miss A and I to interact and socialise with.
- Mothers group- Meeting a range of new mums and sharing some great food together.
What are your biggest struggles as a parent? and what are you grateful for as a parent?
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By Clare at Relaxed Parenting