Thoughts and Mixed Emotions As a Mum And Parenting Blogger

‘Monday Madness’

With a change to the name of our Monday blogs from ‘Monday Motivation’ to ‘Monday Madness’ I will be trying to share with you some of the tougher sides to parenting and trying to find a positive side to them. Not many people like Mondays as it is and this is why I have chosen Monday to discuss things that can make parenting tough.

The world today is full of opinions and competition. Become a parent and this becomes so much harder to comprehend and accept. The minute you find out you are expecting a baby the world is full of opinions, advice and judgement. There are a lot of great advice out there and a lot of people who genuinely mean well and are trying to help, but along with the good comes the less useful. It is then a matter of figuring out what works for you and your family and putting the rest in storage in case it becomes useful later down the track.

While I was pregnant I found out and learnt a lot of things that no one had ever spoken about (perhaps just because I wasn’t talking to people who were pregnant/ or parents about these things as in all honesty, as a non-parent I wouldn’t have understood). I felt as though a lot of things you experience during pregnancy, childbirth and after birth, are not spoken about or even are ‘secret’. For this reason after having my daughter I decided to start this blog to share any things I felt unaware of as a non-parent or expecting parent to try and help even one other person.

Becoming a parenting blogger puts myself out there for more opinions, advice and judgement to be thrown my way. It is unfortunate that we live in a world with so much judgement. Becoming a parenting blogger by no means makes me feel or think that I am an expert, instead the goal is to support other parents in need and to have a platform where by other parents can help one another. The blog is there to share any tips, tricks and help that I have come across along the way, that may also help others. It is a place for others to gather information, like some of the answers I was looking for during my pregnancy, early days as a new mum and even one year on I am still looking for information and help.

Being a parenting blogger and putting myself out there brings positive and negative feelings.

Positives:

  • I get to share my experiences in the hope it may help someone else in the same boat or someone who needs help.
  • I get to connect with other parents.
  • I see others enjoying activities I have shared.
  • I get to share guest birth stories to help expecting parents.
  • I provide a platform for parents to share their tips and tricks.

Negatives:

  • Judgement by other parents.
  • Being perceived as an ‘expert’ when I am far from it.

Being a parent is hard work. It is a 24/7 job with no guidelines, no manual, no help, in a judgmental, competitive world. We all want the best for our children, we all love and adore our children, and think they are they greatest thing ever- let’s be honest they are the greatest thing ever for each and every one of us.

Every parent has their highs and lows. Some days are great, others days are terrible, and some are in-between. One child, two children, three children, more, twins, triplets etc. No matter the amount of children you have we all have our struggles.

Deflated and Emotionally Tired

Motherhood along with the joy and utter happiness, comes emotional stress and tiredness. This isn’t necessarily even related to looking after your child, but yet more to do with other parents, the judgement, the overwhelming feeling from opinions and negativity, etc. I try to be a generous, supportive, caring person, whose family and friends mean the world to me. I would do just about anything for them. With these traits, I hope to share them through my blog.

With the opinions, advice, and mostly judgement I sometimes feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained and deflated. My biggest struggles since becoming a mother have been:

  • Loss of identity (my old self: Clare- Massage Therapist, Coach, Athlete, etc )
  • Feeling lonely – lack of company due to full-time stay at home mum and not being surrounded by adults, work mates, and/or friends.
  • Feeling lost – unsure of what to do next and where to go from here.
  • Learning to handle opinions and judgement.
  • Not taking everything to heart.
  • Learning how to master my ‘new life’ as Mum.
  • Putting myself out there to meet new parents and children to interact with.
  • Feeling of competitiveness between parents- From what your baby is doing when, to who has the best things for baby.

As a mother I reach out to other parents for support and comfort, and as a ‘parenting blogger’ I hope to be there, or provide the platform for like minded or similar situation parents to be there for one another. Wouldn’t it feel better to ‘hold each others hands’ and support each other than categorize and single out one another.

Things I am grateful for as a parent and things that help me feel better again:

  • Supportive partner – Knowing I have a partner who has my back and tells me I am doing a great job as a mum.
  • A cheeky daughter who makes me laugh so hard I cry.
  • Supportive parents who love me, and love my daughter.
  • Some great friends who help keep me smiling, laughing and having a great time.
  • Playgroup mothers- meeting new mums and children at playgroup for Miss A and I to interact and socialise with.
  • Mothers group- Meeting a range of new mums and sharing some great food together.

 

What are your biggest struggles as a parent? and what are you grateful for as a parent? 

You can add your answers by clicking on “Leave a Comment” or go to our Facebook Page and share your answers by clicking here

By Clare at Relaxed Parenting

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6 thoughts on “Thoughts and Mixed Emotions As a Mum And Parenting Blogger

    1. Hey Lauren, I would love to read about your first year as a blogger. It is emotionally hard putting yourself out there when blogging and knowing how much is too much peronal detail, and accepting that others won’t always agree with you are two of the buggest challenges. Hope you enjoy the blogging journey. Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Parenting has to be one of the hardest topics to publicly discuss in a world of judgment and opinions.
        Thanks for your support. Xx

        What are your biggest struggles as a parent? and what are you grateful for as a parent?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I think my biggest struggle as a parent is being social. I’ve never been the sort of person that makes friends easily as I have a lot of social anxiety. So I haven’t actually been to any mum and baby groups yet, I found the antenatal classes terrifying just being around people I didn’t know and me and my husband left as I got too anxious when we had to do stuff in small groups. I do have quite a few good mates who also have kids, but we don’t live close to each other and I don’t have a car so it’s difficult to socialize much. My childless friends are always asking me out for a drink but I’m not ready to leave my baby yet and he isn’t ready either. So social stuff is definitely the hardest thing for me as a mum, but I hope I can change this!
    The second hardest thing is probably losing my identity a bit, there’s a lot of stuff I used to do that I felt kind of defined me that I can’t do now, but I know as my child grows I will be able to get some of that back. However being a mum has made me less judgmental and more calm and happy than I’ve ever been

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    1. Thanks for commenting humanisthousewife!
      Being social is a very daunting thing especially as a parent as especially as the babies get older and interactive and you are ‘forced’ to interact with others due to the fact you child has crawled or walked over to another parent and their child, forcing you to interact. Sorry to hear it brings you anxiety.
      Hopefully even knowing those friends are just a message or phone call away helps?
      Yes having no car makes it a little more tricky as it limits your flexibility to do what you want and when.
      Perhaps look at it with small goals to improve the situation and decrease anxiety about social interaction? Find one mother you feel comfortable with and start catching up with them? I was anxious about starting playgroup and mothergroup due to the competitive side of parenthood as I was feeling very drained about that but was so pleasantly surprised when I went along to both and am feeling really thankful for stepping out of my comfort zone to go along and try something new.
      The loss of identity is really difficult isn’t it? We need to always remember that that old you isn’t gone, you are always the same person, your priorities have just changed a little for now. Are there any things you used to do that are small and achievable to include back in you ‘new’ lifestyle? Glad your feeling calmer and happier than ever xx

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