With my first son I found out far along that I was actually pregnant and was so scared about everything from the thought of giving birth to being a mum for the first time at 18. However I had the best help from my family and my beautiful cousin who would come to my appointments and help me go through all the questions and worries with my midwife so I was prepared for the most amazing moment in my life meeting my little boy.
Then the day he was due nothing happened then a couple days later I went in for a check up and was told to go back home and just wait until the end of the week and if nothing has happened to come back in to the hospital and they will help to bring on labour. All week nothing changed I went walking, swimming anything to try and bring on labour but it didn’t help. So off I went bags packed to the hospital thinking that the doctors would just give me something and right away I would be in labour and finally get to meet this stubborn baby boy.
But that didn’t happen the doctors tried for another week to induce me as I wasn’t dilating and all week was only 2-3cm dilated. They were telling me that I was getting contractions yet was feeling nothing, no pain, no uncomfortable feeling at all. By the end of the week I was given the option of them breaking my waters and hopefully that would help or have a cesarean which by then I was so drained emotionally and tired from the sleepless nights at the hospital sharing a room with 5 other ladies that I picked to have a cesarean and was sent home to come back the next day.
The next day was so exciting and scary at the same time. I remember while they were trying to numb me with a epidural that they hit a nerve or something in my back and my whole left side dropped which scared me but other then that everything was fine. They wheeled me into the operating room and I remember the doctors and nurses talking about making rum balls for Christmas then just casually telling me that they have cut me open and it wouldn’t be much longer till I get to meet my baby.
I laughed a couple of times at how strange the feeling was and then I heard the most amazing noise of my little boy crying as they lifted him up so I could see him for the first time and then they took him over to the table to be weighed and so my mum could cut the cord.
The next couple of days were great, full of cuddles and the feeling of a love I’ve never felt before.
With my second son I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I picked to have another cesarean so that my sons dad could be there and organise time off work. Through the whole pregnancy I was healthy apart from having low blood pressure which was normal for me.
So the day came to go to hospital I got my own room and waited to get taken to the operating theatre. When it was time I was sitting up in my bed as I was wheeled down to theatre all excited and chatting away to my sons dad, my midwife and the nurse pushing my bed. They told my sons dad they will call him into the operating room in around 15mins and to go wait in the waiting room.
This time instead of a epidural I had a spinal block and as soon as they gave me the needle to numb my back I knew right away something wasn’t right I felt a huge hot wave spreading over my back and then was dizzy and sweating badly. I felt so tired and started to sway and struggled to keep my eyes open. My midwife knew something was wrong as I wasn’t talking anymore she asked me if I was ok which I told her no and explained how I was feeling. I was so scared because I couldn’t control my body and all I wanted to do was go to sleep but I was scared to close my eyes in case I didn’t wake up.I asked over and over if my baby was ok and they said he was fine it was me and my blood pressure had dropped really low.
When they got me stable again and the spinal block all finished I was wheeled into the room and my sons dad walked in he told me he waited for 45 mins instead of 15 mins.
I remember seeing my baby and then him being weighed and having a cuddle then my baby and his dad walking out to meet me after they sort me out. But then I felt dizzy, light headed and felt like I was shaking and I started to panic and think that the worse was going to happen but the doctors did their magic and made me stable again.
I was taken to the recovery room and got to see my little baby boy again gave him a cuddle then his dad had to hold him because I still wasn’t feeling great. As I was being wheeled into my room I saw my oldest son first and was so happy to see him and my family and friends.
My dad was looking at me and he knew I wasn’t ok and I asked him to get everyone to leave so I could be alone. After everyone left I was still a little freaked out because I had no idea why everything happened and the doctors couldn’t work out why my blood pressure just dropped as quickly as it had.
I had cuddles with my new little son Jye and was allowed to rest and they would bring my son in for feeds. My midwife was absolutely amazing and I’ll never be able to tell her just how much she helped me by just staying with me the first day as long as she could and keep me calm and making me laugh. When it was time for my midwife to go home she came in to introduce the new midwife and straight away the look on her face told me something wasn’t right I told her my eyes felt swollen as if I’ve been crying she then told me my face was swollen and to call for someone to come and be with me.
They couldn’t work out what it was but they believe that they gave me to much fluid in my IV. Eventually the swelling went away but I ended up with a really bad cough and the pain from that was horrible. Every time I coughed my stomach would hurt so much that by the 3rd day I couldn’t get up or move without pain. I didn’t want to tell my midwife as I wanted to go home but while my cousin was visiting me she could see how much pain I was in and told me to get the doctors to give me something.
They gave me a endone and then gave me 5 more when I left but I never took them as it knocked me out for a few hours in hospital. I remember the feeling when I first took it in the hospital I had to buzz the nurse because I thought something was wrong with me and she just told me people pay for this feeling and I should enjoy it. By the time I went home I still wasn’t 100% better but I just wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed and see my oldest Jesse.
Jesse and Jye
“I still sometimes remember the feeling of how scared I was with being a young mum all the judgment I got from friends, family and even strangers and how scary it was in hospital having Jye but then it passes when I see how happy, healthy and absolutely hilarious both my boys are and I would do it all again in a heart beat.”
Guest Blog @ Relaxed Parenting by Shanelle in Brisbane, Australia